The following questions have been emailed to me over and over and over and over. I don't mind getting emails, but these questions are asked because the writer didn't take the time to read the information on the website.  These are presented in the order of the volume received (some are paraphrased). And yes, these DO annoy me.

Annoying Question 1. I have an important unique situation. I urgently need a free detailed appraisal on my Victrola Model XYZ for:

    a) my ill, elderly parents, who have been evicted and have no money and are about to lose everything unless they can sell their Victrola

    b) my "ex" left it in the house, and I need to sell it ASAP before he/she comes back to pick it up

    c) to settle a family inheritance/will problem with my greedy uncle

    d) so I can settle a long family argument

    e) so my children will know the value of this wonderful family heirloom   

    f) insurance purposes, as my house just burned down

    g) for our wonderful charity auction, as we have no idea where to start the bidding

    Answer: I don't do free appraisals. Sorry.

Annoying Question 2. I have an Edison (or Sonora or Silvertone or ______ ) Victrola, but can find no information on this machine on your website. Why?

    Answer: Because this is a Victor website, and those are other brands. Try to find information on Honda cars at the Ford Motor Company website. It's the same idea.  You haven't read the GETTING STARTED section!

Annoying Question 3. My Victrola tag says it was made in 1906, but your website information says it was made much later, in 19__ (fill in the blank). Why?

    Answer: Those 1904 or 1906 references are patent dates, not production dates. You haven't read the GETTING STARTED section!

Annoying Question 4. I have a really nice RCA Victor Television/Phono Console. Why isn't it listed on your site?

    Answer: This site does not cover RCA products, only those products made by the Victor Talking Machine Company.  You haven't read the GETTING STARTED section!

Annoying Question 5. My Victrola motor (thumps, grinds, stalls, etc.). Please send me detailed repair instructions.

    Answer: Pick up one of the repair books listed under the "Links" section of this website. I can't possibly write out repair instructions for everyone.

Annoying Question 6. I have a Victrola Model _____.  What is it worth? Do you want to buy it?

    Answer: I don't do free appraisals. Don't call me, I'll call you if I'm interested in making a purchase.

Annoying Question 7. I have _____ old 78 records. Please tell me what they are worth, and where I can sell them.

    Answer: They are worth about 50 cents each. Sell them at swap meets or garage sales.

Annoying Question 8. My aunt has some kind of old phonograph up in her attic someplace. I haven't seen it since I was a kid, but it sort of looks like the picture you have on your home page, except it's a little different. Do you think it is worth anything?

    Answer: Yes, I think it's worth something. It's worth just as much as the strange old car sitting on blocks under a tent in my neighbor's driveway.

Annoying Question 9. Where can I get needles? Will you mail me some?

    Answer: See the parts and repair links for sources for needles, and no I won't mail them to you.

Annoying Question 10. My Victrola is really in bad shape, and I want to refinish it. What do you recommend?

    Answer: I'd recommend that you refinish it. Read the restoration section of this website.

Annoying Question 11. I have a box of rusty parts from some old phonograph laying in my basement. Do you want to buy them? If not, can I mail them to you for just the cost of postage?

    Answer: No.

Annoying Question 12.  Why doesn't your website use the new mega-traversal trans-lingual java-dynamic hyperbolic-paraboloid HTML-O-MATIC web code format? Your site looks dated and clunky, is hard to maneuver around, responds slowly, and is just generally irritating. In fact, it pisses people off and gives them headaches. You can hire us for $150/hr to make it a lot better and people will come flocking to your site!

    Answer: I'm not a IT guy or web designer. I use ancient (almost Victrola-era) Microsoft Front Page 2003, because it functions just like Word and I don't have to learn any new languages or techniques. This site has over 230 pages, and tons of graphics, and I'd much rather spend my time and money doing research and restoring Victor products than spending hours learning new code or dumping a fortune on a site upgrade. Besides. I already have enough flocking people visiting this site, given the volume of email that comes in daily. However, any expert web designer volunteers are most welcome to upgrade this site to your heart's content! You provide the code, I'll provide the beer.

Annoying Question 13. What is the name of the Victor Dog?

    Answer: Nipper. It's covered in the introduction section.  You haven't read the GETTING STARTED section!

Annoying Question 14. If I send you my Victrola, will you fix it for free?

    Answer: I'll fix it for free, but you won't ever get it back.